Chichiri, Emperor of Konan, no da!
by Tsu-chan-chan
Summary: From the same isnane author who brought you Fushigi Yuugi and Card Captor Sakura: The Weakest Link, comes another insane fic!!!!This one's bout Chiri-chan! Enjoy! Chapter 12 is up! I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting, but the wait was well worth it, neh
1. Pretty Hotohori, no da!

Chichiri, Emperor of Konan, no da!

by

Suzaku no Miko Copy cabbit 

Notes from the cabbit: Konyananichiwa! Copy cabbit here, with yet another insane Fushigi Yuugi fanfic! Remember how in…*scratches her head* Anou…I think it's in Episode 11 or 12, Chichiri volunteers to pose as Hotohori while the real Hotohori goes off to help Miaka and Nuriko. Well, I wondered, what happened during that time? This is my interpretation. Also, of course, it's an AU.

Chapter One: Pretty Hotohori, no da!

Chichiri sang to himself as he pranced happily throughout his, err…Hotohori's bedchamber. "Attaina aeaina setsuaina kono kimochi…NO DA!" he sang.

All of a sudden, a soldier came in. "Your Majesty," he started.

"Yes, no da?" Chichiri/Hotohori asked.

The soldier started at him for a few seconds before responding. "Daijoubu? Lately, you've been acting…"

"Hai, no da?" Chichiri/Hotohori asked.

"Odd…" the solider finished.

Chitochori (Anou…it takes too much space to write out Chichiri/Hotohori, so I've combined the two names. Am I a genius or what?) blinked a few times before responding. "Nani, no da? What do you mean, odd, no da?" he asked again.

"Anou…well, Your Majesty, it's just that lately, you've been acting, well, odd," the soldier said for the second time.

Chitochori, no realizing this case of déjà vu, once again blinked. "Nani, no da? What do you mean, odd, no da?" he asked again.

Unfortunately, the two hadn't come to understand that they were repeating themselves, so once again, the solider spoke.

"Anou…well, Your Majesty, it's just that lately, you've been acting, well, odd," the soldier said yet again.

Because stupidity is contagious, Chitochori once again blinked. "Nani, no da? What do you mean, odd, no da?" he asked once again.

Before the soldier could reply, Copy cabbit suddenly appeared, dressed as Meru, and carrying a large hammer. She hit both Chitochori and the soldier in the head, keeping them from repeating themselves again.

"Nani? Who are you, no da?" Chitochori asked.

Copy cabbit thought for a second before replying. "Anou…Watashi Ryuno Himeko! I'm a childhood friend of yours, Hotohori!" she said.

"Nani? I don't seem to remember you, no da," Chitochori said.

Himeko looked shocked. "How could you not remember!? We've been friends since…forever!" she said. "Remember how I beat up Nuriko?"

*flashback*

*Chibi Himeko, Chibi Hotohori, and Chibi Nuriko are all playing in the sandbox, Chibi Nuriko dressed like a girl, with his hair in pigtails, of course. All of a sudden, Chibi Nuriko grabs Chibi Hotohori's arm and proceeds to drag him away.*

Chibi Himeko: Oi! Where are you taking Hoto-chan?!

Chibi Nuriko: I want him to play dress-up with me.

Chibi Himeko: Well, I'm taking him to play on the swing set, so you can't!

Chibi Nuriko: Says who!?

Chibi Himeko: Me!

Chibi Nuriko: Oh yeah?

Chibi Himeko: Yeah!

Chibi Hotohori: Onegai, stop!

Chibi Himeko: 'kay, Hoto-chan!

Chibi Nuriko: *kicks some sand at Chibi Himeko* Nerd!

Chibi Himeko: *dumps a bucket of sand over Chibi Nuriko's head* Freak!

Chibi Nuriko: You got sand in my hair, nerd!

Chibi Himeko: Nuh uh, freak!

Chibi Nuriko: Nerd!

Chibi Himeko: Freak!

Chibi Nuriko: Nerd!

Chibi Himeko: Freak!

Chibi Hotohori: Onegai! Onegai! Stop!

*Chibi Nuriko and Chibi Himeko stop*

Chibi Nuriko: She started it!

Chibi Himeko: Nuh uh!

Chibi Nuriko: Uh huh!

Chibi Himeko: Nuh uh!

*end flashback*

"Of course, in the end, I knocked he living daylights out of Nuriko…" Himeko said.

Chitochori nodded. "Oh…I see, no da," he said. The guard just looked at Himeko, dumbfounded.

Himeko grinned, then frowned as another thought came to mind. "Matte…" she said.

Chitochori sweatdropped. "Hai, no da?" he asked nervously.

"From what I remember, Hotohori was very vain and obsessed with himself," Himeko started.

Chitochori gulped, and nervously looked around. He finally spotted a mirror, and picked it up. "Pretty Hotohori, no da! Very kirei, no da! So pretty it's scary, no da!" he said.

Himeko looked at him, dumbfounded, then shook her head, and hit Chitochori with her hammer. "Hai hai, that's enough…" she said.

Chitochori rubbed his sore head, then looked back at Himeko. "Anou…by the way, why are you here, no da?" he asked.

Himeko laughed. "Silly, how could you forget!?" she asked.

"Forget what, no da?" Chitochori asked.

Himeko grinned. "Forget that you and me are going to be married!" she said, then nodded in self-affirmation. "Hai hai, you promised to marry me when I came back, and here I am, so…WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED!"

To be continued…


	2. Marriage to Himeko, no da!

Chichiri, Emperor of Konan, no da!

by

Suzaku no Miko Copy cabbit

Notes from the cabbit: Konyananichiwa! Copy cabbit again! So…what do you think? Sorry to end with a cliffhanger, but it was for the best, wasn't it? I know I don't have to, being that I've already stated these things in earlier stories, but here are the general disclaimers. Fushigi Yuugi belongs to Yuu Watase. Legend of Dragoon belongs to Sony. Anything else either belongs to me, or I'm just too damn lazy to say who it belongs to. Now…let's get this party started!

Chapter 2: Marriage to Himeko, no da!

"Nani, no da!?" Chitochori exclaimed.

Himeko sighed. "Didn't you hear me the first time? We're gonna get married!" she said.

"N-now, no da!?" Chitochori asked. 

Himeko shook her head. "Of course not," she said. "There's plenty to be done in preparation. For example, I have to have someone send me my dress, we'll need caterers, and we also have to get my family to come."

"Nani, no da? Your family, no da?" Chitochori asked.

Himeko nodded. "Yes, my family. The King and Queen of Basil, Lavitz and Midori (Himeko is Albert's granddaughter. You'd kinda think that Albert and Emille would name their son Lavitz. Oh, and Midori is Meru and Guahara's daughter, which makes Himeko half-Wingly)," she said. She then clapped her hands. "All right, I'll go make the preparations!"  
  


Chitochori sweatdropped. He was going to be in so much trouble when Hotohori came back…

A few days, no make that the next day, Himeko corrected, the wedding took place. Amazingly enough, a large crowd had gathered to see the emperor finally get married. In all actuality, they were happy for Himeko, the soon-to-be Empress of Konan, but they would have been happy if a three-headed monster had married Hotohori. Anyone but Nuriko, they told themselves. Himeko wore her royal dress that day, the dress looking exactly like Princess Garnet's. The tiara looked the same, too, except there was a veil attached. For some odd reason, Himeko kept silently laughing like a madman. 

"If anyone has a reason as to why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace," the minister said.

No one spoke, not because they didn't have any objections, but rather, they were frightened at the sight of Himeko wielding a very large hammer. The minister went on. "If nobody has any objections, then I now pronounce you Emperor and Empress. You may now kiss the bride."

Himeko leaned towards Chitochori, prepared to kiss him, when all of a sudden, Chitochori pointed at an area behind the crowd. "Look, no da! It's Melbu Frahma, no da!" he shouted.

"Nani!?" Everyone in the crowd, including Himeko, turned around to find…nothing! When they all turned back, they found that Chitochori was gone, and in his place was a kesa. Quickly, not wanting any witnesses, Himeko got back out the piece of paper she was writing the story on, and quickly erased the part about the crowd being there. The crowd disappeared, as did Himeko, as she put on the kesa.

Chitochori nervously glanced around as he appeared in the royal library. "Himeko won't find me here, no da," he told himself. Just then, Himeko appeared, once again dressed as Meru, holding both her hammer and the kesa.

"I believe this is yours?" she asked, holding up the kesa. Chitochori gulped, and nodded shakily.

"H-hai," he said, taking the kesa from Himeko. 

Himeko balanced the hammer on her shoulders as she glared at Chitochori. "Well…?" she asked.

"Well what, no da?" Chitochori asked.

"What was the meaning of leaving me behind?" Himeko asked.

"Anou…I would have taken you with me if you had asked," Chitochori lied.

Himeko continued to glare at Chitochori, who was now looking for all possible escape routes. But Chitochori didn't really need to, as the real Hotohori had just come in, along with Nuriko, Miaka, Tama-chan, Tamahome, and new part member Taski. Himeko instantly ran over to the real Hoto-chan. "Hoto-chan! Kawaii hito (Darling!)" she exclaimed.

Hotohori blinked a few times before he recognized the girl glomping him. "Nani? Hime-chan?" he asked.

Nuriko recognized Himeko, too. "Ryuno-san," he muttered.

"Anou…what are you doing here?" Hotohori asked.

Himeko grinned. "You always said that when I returned, we'd get married," she said.

*flashback*

*Chibi Himeko and Chibi Hotohori are playing on the swing set. They are happily swinging, when all of a sudden, Chibi Himeko stops. *

Chibi Hotohori: Nani? Daijoubu, Hime-chan? 

Chibi Himeko: I have to go away soon…I won't ever be able to see you again. *cries*

Chibi Hotohori: Don't cry, Hime-chan. I'm sure you'll come back one day.

Chibi Himeko: *stops crying* Really? Do you think you'll be emperor of Konan when I return?

Chibi Hotohori: Yup. And when you do return, I'll make you my empress.

Chibi Himeko: *eyes widen* Really? *hugs Chibi Hotohori* Arigatou, Hoto-chan! Don't forget!

Chibi Hotohori: Why?

Chibi Himeko: *gets out her hammer* Because if you do, I'll kill you…

*end flashback*

Hotohori blinked once again as he remembered. "Demo…I was 8 years old! I didn't mean it!" he said.

Nuriko glared at Hotohori. "Nani? I don't' seem to remember you promising anything," he said.

Hotohori glanced nervously between Nuriko and Himeko. "Anou…Hime-chan, why don't we all have dinner, and forget all about this?" he asked.

Himeko grinned and shook her head. "Too late," she said. She pointed at Chitochori, who was now just Chichiri. "Thanks to Chiri-chan, I'm now Empress!" she exclaimed happily.

"Nani, no da!? How did you know I wasn't Hotohori, no da!?" Chichiri asked.

Himeko shrugged. "Plenty of ways. For one, Hoto-chan never says 'no da'. Second, Hoto-chan always is admiring himself. And finally, Hoto-chan would have fled the country by now as soon as I had arrived," she said.

Chichiri blinked. "So you knew all along, no da?" he asked.

Himeko nodded. "Hai. Arigatou, Chiri-chan," she said.

Nuriko was extremely furious. "NANI!?" he exclaimed.

Tama-chan, who had been hanging on to Tamahome throughout this entire ordeal, grinned at the mention of 'marriage'. "Do you remember the promise you made me?" she asked.

Now it was Miaka's turn to be furious. "NANI!?"

To be continued…  


	3. Double wedding and lot's of insanity, no...

Chichiri, Emperor of Konan (and other insanity), no da!

by

Suzaku no Miko Copy cabbit

Notes from the cabbit: Konyananichiwa! Copy cabbit again, for the third time! A few notes: Tama-chan is working on Chapter 4 of this fic. Yes, Tama-chan. In other words, if this story ends up being rated NC-17, you have her to thank. Even though Hotohori and the others have returned, I'll still keep the title, but I'll add to it.  I've only watched up to Episode 14, but I'm gonna include the rest of the seishi in the next chapter. Enjoy!

Chapter 3: Double Wedding and lots of insanity, no da!

*flashback*

*Chibi Tama-chan and Chibi Tamahome are playing in the sandbox, not too far from where Chibi Himeko is beating up Chibi Nuriko, despite Chibi Hotohori's pleadings. Chibi Tama-chan is about to go and help, when Chibi Tamahome tugs on her sleeve.

Chibi Tamahome: Tama-chan?

Chibi Tama-chan: *hopeful look in her eyes* Hai?

Chibi Tamahome: You stepped on my sandcastle.

Chibi Tama-chan: Nani? *looks down* Oops.

*The two continue playing in the sandbox, despite the fact that Chibi Himeko is now chasing Chibi Nuriko with a hammer. Eventually, Chibi Tama-chan gets mad, and throws sand at Chibi Tamahome.*

Chibi Tamahome: Ahh! My eyes! I'm blind!

Chibi Tama-chan: Baka! All you ever care about is you and money! You don't care about me at all!

Chibi Tamahome: *blinks* Since when did you talk like a grown-up, Tama-chan?

Chibi Tama-chan: *angry* I hate you, Tamahome! *runs off, crying*

Chibi Tamahome: 0.0 ……Matte, Tama-chan! *runs after her*

*Chibi Tamahome runs after Chibi Tama-chan. He eventually catches up to her at the top of the slides.*

Chibi Tamahome: Gomen ne, Tama-chan, I do care about you! In fact, when we grow up, I want to marry you!

Chibi Tama-chan: Really?

Chibi Tamahome: Hai!

Chibi Tama-chan: *big smile* Arigatou! *steps forward to hug him, but accidentally pushes him off the slide* Uh oh…I'm gonna get in trouble for this…

*End flashback*

Miaka glared at Tamahome. "And just when did you make that promise?" she asked.

Tama-chan grinned. "Before you found the book, which means he's rightfully mine," she said.

Miaka was very outraged. She threw a chair at Tamahome. "Kisema! I thought I was your only love!" she exclaimed.

Tamahome sweatdropped. "Well, you see, I was only 8 then, Miaka, so I didn't mean it. You're still my only love!" he said.

Tama-chan shook her head. "Not any more…" she said. She grinned. "We're gonna get married!" She turned to Himeko. "Hey, Hime-chan, how about we have a double wedding?" she asked.

Himeko nodded. "Sounds good. Taitsuukun's palace ok?" she asked.

Tama-chan nodded. "Yup!" she said. She triumphantly raised a fist in the air. "All right! It's wedding time!"

Himeko grinned, turning to Chichiri. "Oh, Chiri-chan?" 

"Hai, no da?"

"Could you be the priest?"

"Nani, no da!? I'm a monk, not a priest!" Chichiri exclaimed.

Himeko shrugged. "Priest, monk, same diff," she said.

"It's not the same diff, no da!" Chichiri exclaimed.

Himeko shrugged. "Well to me it is, so you're going to be our priest." She then got out her hammer. "If you try another disappearing act, like the one you did last time, I'm smashin' your kesa with my hammer, and then I'm gonna burn it," she said. 

Chichiri gulped, and slowly nodded. "H-hai, no da," he said.

Later that day, at Taitsuukun's palace, the double wedding took place. Himeko once again ditched the Meru outfit in favor of a wedding kimono, but she still had her hammer with her, only it was strapped to her back in the same fashion a knight would wear his sword and shield…or at least Link. Tama-chan, on the other hand, was wearing next to nothing. Tama-chan had tied up Tamahome, who was wearing a tuxedo. Hotohori was kept in check by the threat of getting hit with Himeko's hammer; he had seen what happened to Nuriko when they were little. Compared to Tamahome, Hotohori had it better, as he was wearing his emperor's clothes. Instead of the wedding march playing, the Nyan Nyan sang, at Tama-chan's request, "Oops", by Tweet.

"Oops! There goes my shirt up over my head, oh my oh my," Tama-chan sang along. "Oops! There goes my skirt dropping to my knees, oh my oh my. Oops! Some kind of touch caressing my legs, oh my oh my. Oops! I'm turning red, who could this be? Oh my oh my." 

Tamahome started crying as he realized his days as a free man were over. _I'll never see Miaka again…_ he thought.

Later, after the ceremony, the two authors, the Nyan Nyan, and 4 out of 7 Suzaku seishi were eating dinner. Tasuki had somehow found a bottle of saké, and was now drunk. Miaka and Nuriko were still very furious, and were looking for Chichiri, when some Nyan Nyan stopped them. 

"We can fix your jealous rages!" they said.

WHACK! The two Nyan Nyan were sent flying towards the moon.

After dinner, all the characters were gathered in the throne room, Tama-chan eyeing every square inch of Tamahome's body, most likely mentally stripping him. Tamahome gulped nervously, and tried to go to Miaka, but he couldn't get untied. Himeko had sent some servants to make her a throne, Hotohori sitting on the throne. Tasuki was still drunk, and was fighting with some Nyan Nyan. 

"We can fix your drinking problem!" they said.

"But I don't wanna stop!" Tasuki whined.

The Nyan Nyan frowned, and huddled together to think up a new strategy. Finally, they turned back to Tasuki. "We can make a type of saké that can heal…" one said.

Another nodded. "Not only that, but it will taste better than any other saké you've ever had!" she said.

Meanwhile…

The servants had finally brought in Himeko's throne, but she wouldn't budge.

"Come on, Hime-chan," Hotohori pleaded "My robes are getting dirty from sitting on this floor!"

Himeko shook her head. "Getting up would require moving," she said.

Nuriko and Miaka on the other hand…

Nuriko and Miaka were still hunting down Chichiri, who they blamed for all this. Thanks to a nasty trick of Himeko's, the Illusion Card was posing as Chichiri.

"There he is!" Nuriko yelled.

"Let's get him!" Miaka said.

They proceeded to gain up on the Illusion Card, who took one look at the two, and ran off. They chased after it, and eventually ran into Taitsuukun. 

"What do you think you're doing, running around my palace!?" she exclaimed.

"We were looking for Chichiri," Nuriko said.

"I don't care if you're looking for the Pope! You don't run around my palace!!" Taitsuukun yelled.

Chichiri, to say the least…

Chichiri was hiding behind a bookshelf, not wanting Miaka or Nuriko to find him. "What did I do to deserve this, no da!?" he asked himself.

But for Tama-chan and Tamahome…

Tama-chan was still eying Tamahome's body.

Tamahome was still looking for possible hiding places to hide from Tama-chan…

To be continued… 


	4. Star Wars, no da!

Chichiri, Emperor of Konan (and other insanity), no da!

by

Suzaku no Miko Copy cabbit

with this chapter by

Tama-chan

Notes from the cabbit: Konayananichiwa! It's everyone fav. insane author, Copy cabbit! Are you having fun? Good… This chapter was written by Tama-chan, as you can read above. I don't own Star Wars, unfortunately T_T If I did, Obi-Wan would never leave my sight, and he would stay young forever! Anakin  too! ^-^

Chapter 4: Star Wars, no da!

Tama-chan glanced over in Tamahome's direction, her arms wrapped around him as she leant forward and whispered something in his ear.

Tamahome's eyes widened as he listened to Tama-chan.

Tama-chan started dragging away Tamahome to a bedroom.

Tamahome started to grab everything in his path.

Tama-chan opened the bedroom door, and then grabbed both of Tamahome's feet, trying to get him inside the room.

"No!" Tamahome pleaded, as he latched on to both sides of the doorframes.

"Get your cute seishi butt in here!" Tama-chan said, as she finally managed to get him in the room. She smiled at everyone, nodded, and closed the door. The sound of a lock was heard, and a scream coming from Tamahome begging Tama-chan not to come near was heard as well.

Hotohori glanced over at Himeko with a pleading look in his eyes.

"No," Himeko said, knowing what he wanted.

"But I want heirs to the throne!" Hotohori whined.

"Well, maybe you will get lucky and have heirs in the way Anakin was born," Himeko said.

"Um…who is Anakin?" Hotohori asked.

A copy of Star Wars: Episode One: The Phantom Menace appeared in Himeko's hands. "Here, watch this. It will explain what I mean," Himeko said.

Hotohori held the tape in his hands, looking at it. "Himeko, I'm watching it, but I don't understand yet," he said.

Himeko sighed, and made a TV/VCR appear. "Stick the tape in the VCR and watch it," she said.

This got the other star warriors' attention, and the Nyan Nyan, who were all wearing nightgowns,  as they all walked up to the black box, wondering what it was.

Miaka walked in and almost jumped for joy because there was a TV in the room. She ran over to it, and turned it on to the Iron Chef.

Tasuki jumped back as he watched the tiny people appear on the TV. "Ack! They are trapped!" he exclaimed.

"We'll help them!" the Nyan Nyan said. They tried to go into the TV, but it didn't work.

Himeko sighed, put the tape in, and pressed play. As the movie started, she sat down next to Hotohori with a bag of popcorn.

The star warriors watched Star Wars, expecting the fact that the people are trapped inside, so they watched it hoping they were okay. They all sweatdropped when they saw Jar Jar Binks.

Tasuki, still drunk, ran behind Himeko. "Jar Jar is scary," he said.

Himeko whacked Tasuki with her hammer.

"We'll fix your klutziness!" the Nyan Nyan said, and tried again to go into the TV.

Himeko sweatdropped.

Hotohori, still clueless about how Anakin was born, gave Himeko another pleading look.

"No. Keep watching it," Himeko said.

The Nyan Nyan started throwing popcorn at each other.

"Na No Da! May the Force be with you!" Chichiri said.

The Nyan Nyan saw Darth Maul's horns. "OOO! OOO! OOO! We'll fix your face!" they exclaimed.

"No, Nyan Nyan," Himeko said.

The Nyan Nyan looked towards Himeko, then towards Darth Maul, a pleading look in their eyes, as the really wanted to help him.

Himeko got back out her hammer, and glared at the Nyan Nyan. "You even touch the TV, and it's to the moon with you," she said.

The Nyan Nyan sat back down.

Nuriko squealed happily as she saw Queen Amidala's dress. "I so much want that dress," he said.

"You would," Tasuki said.

In no time at all, the seishi and the Nyan Nyan finally fell asleep in front of the TV.

To be continued… 


	5. Hot springs, no da!

Chichiri, Emperor of Konan(and other insanity), no da!

by

Suzaku no Miko Copy cabbit

Notes from the cabbit: I do not support animal cruelty! It was the Nyan Nyan's ideal to give Tama the saké in this chapter!

Chapter 5: Hot Springs, no da!

After a long night of watching Star Wars, just to get Hotohori to understand how Anakin was born, the seishi, the two authors, and the Nyan Nyan finally went to bed. The rooms were assigned as follows:

Room 1: Miaka and Nuriko

Room 2: Tama-chan and Tamahome

Room 3: Hotohori and Himeko

Room 4: Tasuki and 3 Nyan Nyan

Room 5: Chichiri, and some Clow Cards to protect Chichiri

Room 6: Mitsuake, Chiriko, and Tama

Since Taitsuukun is weird, everyone on Rooms 1-3 shared at bed, which got Himeko thinking. "This would be great inspiration for a yuri fic," she said.

Hotohori blinked. "But I thought you were anti-yuri and anti-yaoi," he said.

Himeko shrugged. "I am, but a yuri fic would be perfect for getting Miaka and Nuriko to leave Chiri-chan alone," she said.

As the odd noises from Room 2 got louder, Hotohori glanced over at Himeko, who was now asleep, and was about to make his move, when..

WHACK! Hotohori got hit in the head with a hammer.

"If you don't want your head bashed in, I suggest you stay on your side of the bed," Himeko said.

Let's skip what's going on in Room 2, and move on to Room 1…

Nuriko silently cursed under his breath as Miaka snored in her sleep. "Damn Taitsuukun…" he muttered. "Putting me in the same room as the baka." He got up and headed for the door, hoping to hunt down Chichiri. He had just touched the doorknob, when… 

ZZAAP! 10,000 volts of electricity shocked Nuriko. As he lay there, twitching, Taitsuukun appeared.

"I told you I didn't want you running around a few hours ago!" she exclaimed. "What makes you think I want you running around now!?"

Nuriko didn't respond, as he had been paralyzed by all that electricity.

Over in Room 4…

"Where's my saké!?" Tasuki asked.

The Nyan Nyan looked at each other nervously, then one finally responded. "Anou…we fed it to Tama," she said.

"Nani!? That was a one million yen bottle of saké!" Tasuki exclaimed. "Where's Tama!?"

"Right here!" the Nyan Nyan said, holding up a rather drunk Tama.

"Meowwww…*hic*" the cat said.

"ARRGHH! You'd better cough up that saké!" Tasuki yelled, and opened the cat's mouth, trying to get him to cough up the saké. Just then, Mitsuake's voice came from behind the door.

"Oi! What are you doing to Tama!?" he yelled.

Tasuki quickly gave the cat back to the Nyan Nyan, who in turn set it back on the ground. Just then, Mitsuake came in, and found Tama stumbling around, drunk.

"Iie! What did you do to Tama!? Who did this!?" Mitsuake exclaimed. Tasuki pointed at the Nyan Nyan, who in turn pointed at Tasuki. Mitsuake dropkicked the Nyan Nyan to the moon.

Ookay, moving right along, we'll stop in Room 5…

Chichiri was hiding under his bed, fearful of what Miaka and Nuriko would do to him if they found him. "I'm okay, no da. They can't hurt me here, no da," he told himself.

The next morning, both Tasuki and Tama had major hangovers, Himeko was still refusing to do anything with Hotohori that would move the story's rating up to NC-17, Nuriko was still twitching every now and then while trying to recover from the electrical shock the night before, Miaka was half-asleep, Chichiri was hiding in the shadows, Chiriko was reading a porno magazine, and so on. Once again, Tasuki encountered the Nyan Nyan.

"We know a cure for hangovers!" one of the girls said.

"And other things…" another said, looking in the direction of Tamahome and Tama-chan. 

"Really?" Mitsuake asked, hoping for a way to cure Tama of his hangover.

The first Nyan Nyan nodded. "Hai! The hot springs!" she said.

Tama-chan grinned. "Let's go, Tamahome!" she said, and ran off, dragging Tamahome away.

Everyone else took their time getting there, and when they finally arrived, they crowded into the two bathhouses to change. Both the men and the ladies wore towels, especially Nuriko, who still trying to convince everyone he was female, and Himeko, even though she was wearing a bathing suit. Tama-chan and Tamahome, on the other hand, were completely naked.

"Like a virgin, hey! Touched for the very first time!" Tama-chan sang, moving Tamahome's hand across her body. She moved her own hand across Tamahome's body (Kami-sama…why did I ever ask her for ideas? –_-). "Like a virgin. When your heart beats next to mine!" She then proceeded to move closer, but Tamahome broke free and ran. "Matte, Tamahome! You said you wanted lots of sons! I can produce lots of sons!" Tama-chan said, chasing him. Tamahome continued running, and stepped on Nuriko, who was trying to drown Chichiri, in the process. Tama-chan also stepped on Nuriko.

Miaka decided to finish the job of drowning Chichiri. She was just about to push him underwater, when…

"Come on, Tama, into the water. It'll cure your hangover," Mitsuake said, trying to get the cat in the water. As soon as one paw touched the water…

"MEEEOOOOW!" Tama screeched, and jumped away to land on Miaka's face. The cat then proceeded to claw the Suzaku no Miko.

"AHH!" Miaka screamed, trying to get the cat off of her.

Throughout all of this, in a separate spring, a group of Nyan Nyan were swimming, wearing bathing suits, and wearing floatation devices on their arms. 

"Marco!" One of them shouted.

"Polo!" the others shouted.

A few minutes later, they were washing each other's backs. "Clean, clean, clean…" they sang. They then noticed the commotion going on over at the other spring. Armed with scrubbing brushes and soap, they went over there. "Clean, clean, clean…make everything clean…" they sang. They stopped in front of Tama-chan and Tamahome. "We'll clean your dirty minds!" they said.

"She's the one with the dirty mind!" Tamahome said, pointing at Tama-chan.

"Hai, demo, you did dirty things together," the Nyan Nyan said.

Tama-chan was mad. "Why…how dare you!" she said.

WHACK! Tama-chan sent the Nyan Nyan to the moon to join the others.

To be continued…


	6. Notes from the cabbit

Chichiri, Emperor of Konan (and other insanity), no da!

by

Suzaku no Miko Copy cabbit

Notes from the cabbit: Konyananichiwa! Copy cabbit again! No, I don't have another chapter yet, but I do have a message for ya:

Tama chan is leavin' for Florida soon, after she graduates on June 8. While I'm happy that my story won't end up being rated NC-17, I do have a problem. You see, this story has gotten too insane for me to handle myself, so I've been thinking…how about I ask some of you if you wanna marry the remaining Suzaku Seishi? The remaining seishi are Miaka, Chichiri, Tasuki, Mitsuake, and Chiriko. Just tell me in a review or e-mail (Blue_Sea_Dragoon_Damia@yahoo.com) who you are, who you want to marry, how you know the seishi, and how the marriage will take place. *.* Onegai? I need you guys!


	7. Shadow Priestess marries Chichiri, no da...

Notes from the cabbit: Konyananichiwa! (If you're tired of me saying that, too bad, no da! ^. ^) Copy cabbit again! Instead of waiting to marry off the other Suzaku and Seiryuu seishi, I've decided to go ahead and write another chapter! This one's for shadow priestess, who wants to marry Chiri-chan! Thanks goes out to her for helping me with this chapter! Enjoy!  
  
Chapter6: Shadow Priestess marries Chichiri, no da!  
  
After the group finished in the hot springs, they all dressed and went back inside the palace, Nuriko and Chichiri soaking wet from their near-death experiences, Chiriko still reading the porno magazine, and Tama-chan once again scantily dressed. Finally, Chiriko spoke. Walking over to Mitsukake, he pointed at a picture in the magazine. "Anou...Mitsu-chan, what are they doing in this picture?" he asked.  
  
Mitsukake's eyes widened as he noticed the picture. "Where did you get this?" he asked.  
  
"From Tasuki's room," came the reply.  
  
"And what were you doing in Tasuki's room?" Mitsukake asked.  
  
"Helping the Nyan Nyan give the sake to Tama-neko," Chiriko said.  
  
"Oh..." Mitsukake said. If it had been somebody else, Mitsukake would have beat the living daylights out of them, but, hey! We're talking about Chiriko!  
  
Chiriko went over to Tama-chan. "What are they doing in this picture?" he asked.  
  
Tama-chan got a wicked grin on her face when she saw the picture. "Allow me to demonstrate..." she said.  
  
Chiriko's eyes widened as Tama-chan started stripping, then as Tama-chan undressed Tamahome. "Let's see...I need to get a little bit closer..." she said, trying to get closer. Thankfully, Himeko led Chiriko away before any more damage could be done to the young scholar's mind.  
  
"Just how many times are we going to see this?" Himeko asked.  
  
"As many times as possible!" Tama-chan replied gleefully.  
  
Miaka was about to say something, when she noticed Chichiri sneaking away. She and Nuriko both crept up behind him, and were about to strangle him, when...  
  
BONK! A Nyan Nyan landed on Miaka's head. Both Miaka and Nuriko looked up, only to have more Nyan Nyan, either wearing their regular outfits, nightgowns, or bathing suits, land on their heads. A few others landed safely on the ground with the help of parachutes.  
  
"Nani!? Where did you come from!?" Miaka asked.  
  
"Anou...we came from the moon," one of the Nyan Nyan said.  
  
"We were enjoying a nice vacation there, but we decided to come back here!" another added.  
  
"Nani?" Miaka said. She then noticed that Chichiri was gone. "Thanks a lot. Now I have to go find him," she said, and following Nuriko, left to find Chichiri.  
  
"You're welcome!" the Nyan Nyan said.  
  
Hotohori, who had been watching Tama-chan strip Tamahome, turned to Himeko, who was facing the other way. Sneaking up behind her, he was about to undress her, when...  
  
WHACK! Hotohori got hit in the head again. "Owww..." he said. He looked back up at Himeko. "Come on. Why can't we do it?" he asked.  
  
"Oh, we can do it. After three centuries have passed, though," Himeko said.  
  
Hotohori's eyes widened. "D-demo, we'll be dead long before that!" he exclaimed.  
  
Himeko shook her head. "If we didn't have magic, we'd be dead," she corrected. "But, you're a Suzaku seishi, and I'm a half-Wingly, not to mention a Dragoon, so I can live for a couple hundred millennia" she said.  
  
"But I'll be dead before then!" Hotohori protested.  
  
Himeko sighed. "You're a Suzaku seishi. I'm pretty sure you know some kind of magic that would prevent you from aging," she said.  
  
Hotohori sighed sadly. "So I guess there's no way you can fast-forward time a bit? Say, maybe, those three centuries?" he asked.  
  
Himeko shook her head. "Nope," she said.  
  
"Not even a century?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Not even a decade?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Not even five years?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Not even a week?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Not even five days?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Not even an hour?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Not even a second?"  
  
"Iie! Ursei!" Himeko finally said.  
  
Just then, they noticed that Chichiri was missing, not to mention Miaka and Nuriko. At the same time, they heard two screams.  
  
"AHHHH, no da!"   
and  
"Chichiri-chan!"  
  
Everyone turned to the source of the sound, and saw a girl, most likely another insane author, latched onto Chichiri.  
  
"Get off of me, na no da! I didn't go out of the palace for you, no da!"  
  
"Yes you did!"  
  
Himeko grinned. "It looks like you've got a girlfriend, Chiri-chan," she said. "What's your name?" she asked the girl.  
  
The girl grinned, still latched onto Chichiri. "I'm the author known as shadow priestess, but around here, I'm known as Nazomeita Suzuran!" she said.  Suzuran calmly held up a rapier. "I'm a priestess, so I'LL do the marrying here!!" She turned to her... good friend Chichiri and smirked. "Now! Do you take this kind, considerate, nonviolent girl to be your wife?"

"You have a twisted sense of humor no da," Chichiri moaned. 

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!" 

"Nothing na no da..."

"GOOD! SO DO YOU!!!" The black-haired girl had by now turned into a really tall and menacing demon thing. "Hm, Chichiri-chan?!"

"H-h-hai...." Chichiri said, gulping.

Suzuran smiled, in an evil sort of way. "Good…." she said. She turned back into her regular self. "Now…where was I? Oh yeah!" she said, grabbing Chichiri's arm. "I now pronounce us seishi and wife!" she exclaimed happily.

"That wasn't where you left off," Chichiri said.

"Too bad! It is now!" Suzuran said, her evil grin getting bigger. "And now…it's time for the new bride to glomp her seishi husband!" she exclaimed, and did just that.

The other seishi watched this spectacle with a mixture of looks of horror and shock on their faces. 

"Another one…?" Nuriko asked.

"Just where are they coming from?" Chiriko said.

"HOW MUCH LONGER WILL THIS MADNESS LAST!?" All of the seishi, including Chichiri, exclaimed.

To be continued…


	8. Kchan marries Tasuki, no da!

Chichiri, Emperor of Konan, no da!

by

Suzaku no Miko Copy cabbit

also by

random authors who want in the fic

Notes from the Cabbit: Konyanananichiwa! Copy cabbit once again! Anou…Some short notes. One, K-chan is not the only one marrying Tasuki. Two, the other girl is a friend of MeloKitty's but I forgot her name. Three, as a result, there will be two chapters covering this part of the story. Four…COME ON PEOPLE! I know you wanna marry one of Suzaku or Seiryuu's finest! What about Taiitsukun and the Nyan Nyan!? I'm sure somebody wants them! Fifth and final, I refer to myself as Ryuno Himeko in this fic, but this is not to be confused with the Ryuno Himeko that appears in the OC Mini Shrine Section of my site. She is a different person. I'm the insane granddaughter of Meru, she's not, so there. Not that anyone has said anything….

Chapter 7: K-chan marries Tasuki, no da!

A few hours after the sudden wedding between shadow priestess, I mean, Nazomeita Suzuran, and everyone's favorite monk, the unmarried Suzaku seishi, that is, Mitsukake, Chiriko, Nuriko, and Tasuki, started to worry for their own safety…

"Just where are they coming from?" Chiriko asked again. He looked through yet another porno magazine, lent to him by Tama-chan ("If the boy's interested, let him read it! It's good for the mind!" Tama-chan had explained earlier).

Mitsukake sweatdropped as Chiriko leafed through the magazine. "Anou…I think I need to have a talk with you…" he said.

Nuriko frowned. "Oi! Are you two listening!? We need to figure out what's making these fangirls appear!" he exclaimed.

"You mean, like me?" a new voice piped up. The four seishi turned around to face a girl holding a Tasuki plushie. She held the plushie near her ear. 

"Squeak!" the plushie went.

"Nani? You say that they don't want me here?" the girl asked the plushie.

"Squeak! Squeak!"

"And that Tamahome Is here?"

"Squeeeeeeeeak!"

"Well then, that just makes me even more determined," the girl said.

"Who are you?" Nuriko asked.

The girl ignored Nuriko's question, and walked right over to Tasuki, where she proceeded to glomp him. "Tasuki! I can't believe you're here! This is like a dream come true!" she exclaimed.

"Who are you?" Tasuki asked.

The girl let go of Tasuki for one second, and grinned. "My name is Kasumi, but you can call me K-chan…" she turned to glare at the other seishi. "However, the rest of you can call me Kasumi…" she shot a death glare at Tamahome. "And if you ever try and hurt my Tasuki, I'll kill you!"

"Nani? Your Tasuki?" Mitsukake asked.

K-chan nodded. "Hai. My Tasuki. We're getting married, after all," she said.

"Nani? D-demo…" Tasuki stammered.

"No buts," K-chan declared. "We're getting married." And with that, she got out a Russian flag, and once again latched onto Tasuki. "Chichiri?"

"Hai, no da?" the monk asked.

"Will you do the honors?"

"Nani!? How many times do I have to say this, na no da!? I'm a monk, not a priest, no da!" Chichiri exclaimed.

K-chan shrugged. "Priest, monk, same diff," she said.

"It's not the same diff, no da!" Chichiri said, and started to cry. Suzuran instantly rushed to his side to comfort him. 

"There there, Chiri-chan," she said. "It's only for a little bit. I believe you. It isn't the same diff."

Chichiri quit crying, and sighed. "Da. Do you take this seishi to be your-"

"Eagle!" K-chan shouted for no apparent reason, waving the Russian flag.

Chichiri sweatdropped, and moved on. "Do you, Tasuki, take this rabid fangirl to be your wife, na no da?" he asked.

"Hell no!" Tasuki exclaimed.

Chichiri sighed again, and turned to K-chan, who was glaring at Tamahome. "Da…Kasumi, you can't get married unless he says yes," he said.

K-chan frowned. "It's his fault!" she said, pointing at Tamahome. "He's jinxing the ceremony!"

"Nani!? I am not!" Tamahome said.

Tama-chan patted Tamahome's head. "Of course you aren't. Demo…let's go to the bedroom until this is over…" she said, an evil grin on her face.

"But I don't want to-"

"Too late!" Tama-chan said, and dragged Tamahome off to the bedroom.

Chichiri turned back to K-chan. "Can we continue now, no da?" he asked.

"No need," K-chan said. She grabbed Tasuki's hand, and together with Suzuran, they did a bandit dance. A forceful marriage, sealed by a bandit dance, as shadow priestess, I mean, Suzuran put it. "See? The bandit dance makes us officially husband and wife," she said.

"Then why did you make me read all that stuff, no da!?" Chichiri asked.

K-chan shrugged. "The Tasuki plushie said that I should get revenge on all those who have hurt Tasuki," she said. She held up the plushie.

"Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak!" Was all it said. 

To be continued….

Short? I know. I promise I'll make the next chapter longer. Until then, Ja!


	9. Two Weddings and a Funeral, no da!

Chichiri, Emperor of Konan, no da!

by

Suzaku no Miko Copy cabbit

and also by, as always

random authors who wanted to marry a seishi

Notes from the Cabbit: Konyananaichiwa! Copy cabbit here! Sorry for making the last chapter so short, but I had to, since I forgot the name of MeloKitty's friend! As it turns out, she had reviwed the last chapter (6), and mentioned her friend's name, but being as I am, I never thought to look in the reviews section ^.^; Hm…I just finally noticed that ffn changes my font. The original font for this fic is Comic Sans MS, and you can view the original version at http://www.angelfire.com/anime4/ying_fa.  But anyways, here's the second part, no da!

Chapter Eight: Two Weddings and a Funeral, no da!

Later that day, K-chan was still latched onto Tasuki as he desperately tried to find someone to wake him from this supposed nightmare. According to the rabid fangirl, she had been just wandering around the streets of Konan when the plushie had reminded her of her original mission…

*flashback*

*A few days ago, in Konan, K-chan is just walking along, pausing to see the various merchandise the merchants are selling. Suddenly, the Tasuki plushie pipes up.*

Tasuki plushie: Squeakie!

K-chan: Nani!? Tasuki, here!? No way!

Tasuki plushie: Squeak! Squeak!

K-chan: And you say that the other fangirls haven't reached him yet?

Tasuki plushie: Squeaaaaaaaaaaak!

K-chan: And that Tamahome is there too!?

Tasuki plushie: Squeak Squeaaaak  Squeeak!

K-chan: Why didn't you tell me sooner!? Let's go!

*End flashback*

"And that's when I knew I had to come and save you," K-chan explained.

"I was better off alone…" Tasuki muttered.

"No way! You're better off with me!" yet another fangirl shouted. K-chan and Tasuki whirled around to see this girl, holding a bottle of saké.  

"And just who the hell are you?!" Tasuki asked.

 "And why are you here!?" K-chan demanded.

The girl ignored K-chan, and walked up to Tasuki. "Watashi wa Omi Hitoshi. Do you remember me, Gen-chan?" she asked.

Tasuki gulped as the memories came back…

*flashback*

* Tasuki and Omi are playing near a deep gorge. Suddenly, Omi pushes Tasuki close to the edge.*

Omi: Tag! You're it!

Tasuki: Ahhhh! *falls down the gorge* 

Omi: Oops…

*End flashback*

"I remember now!" Tasuki exclaimed "You were that girl who was always trying to kill me!"

K-chan instantly got into a defensive position. "So you've come back to hurt Tasuki, eh? Well, I'm not goin' to let ya!" she said.

Omi frowned. "Puleaze, like I'd hurt the one I love the most," she said. She held up the bottle of saké. "Gen-chan, forget this tramp, and marry me. I have saké," she said.

Tasuki looked at the bottle of saké, a longing look in his eyes. "Is that..."

"The million yen bottle of saké that you love so much?" Omi asked. She nodded. "But of course. Nothing but the best for you, my love," she said.

K-chan frowned. "Oi! Tasuki and me are already married!" she said. "We sealed our marriage with a bandit dance!"

Omi continued to ignore the now furious K-chan (and equally furious Tasuki plushie), and held the bottle of saké even higher. "Saké.."

"Bandit dance!" K-chan yelled.

"Saké!" Omi shouted.

"Bandit dance!"

"Saké"

"Bandit dance!"

Tasuki watched the two girls, scared, and finally shrugged. "Oi! I give up! I'll marry both of you!" he yelled.

The two girls stopped fighting, and glared at each other.

A day later, while Tasuki was hiding with Chichiri in Taiitsukun's room, Omi and K-chan had each gone to a group of Nyan Nyan, an evil plan in mind...

"I need you to help me!" both girls shouted in different places at the same time. The Nyan Nyan in both of those places gave their usual grin.

"Heal, we can!" the Nyan Nyan said.

"That's not what I want!" the girls shouted (in different places, of course. Neither has any idea what the other is doing).

"Then what do you want?" the Nyan Nyan asked.

"I want you to kill Omi/K-chan!" the girls shouted.

"Nani!? We can't do that!" the Nyan Nyan said, shocked.

"I don't care!" the girls yelled "Just do it!"

Later on, both girls had evil grins on their faces as they waited for their plan to take effect. Meeting in the courtyard, they each set out on their individual plan, not knowing that the other had the same plan too.

"K-chan, I've been thinking," Omi said.

"Me too," K-chan said.

"We really shouldn't fight over Tasuki," Omi said.

"I agree," K-chan said.

While they were talking, two groups of Nyan Nyan, dressed in army gear and carrying assault riffles and automatic weapons, were marching into the courtyard. Also, unknown to both of them, Tasuki also happened to wander in.

"Fire!" both girls shouted, right at about the same time Tasuki shouted "What the hell's goin' on!"

BANG!

"AHHHH!" Tasuki shouted as he was shot numerous times by the Nyan Nyan, accidentally, of course.

"Gen-chan!" Omi shouted.

"Tasuki!" K-chan shouted.

The two girls instantly turned to each other. "This is your fault!" they both shouted. 

"My fault!? This is your fault!" 

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"No way!"

The two girls continued to argue as to whose fault it was as the Nyan Nyan simply left, carrying their weapons with them (Nyan Nyan with automatic weapons…very scary thought). As they argued, Amiboshi wandered in, looking for Suboshi. Miaka, who had also wandered in, noticed Amiboshi, and grinned in her own stupid way.

"Chiriko!" Miaka exclaimed.

Amiboshi sweatdropped. "It's Amiboshi," he said.

Suddenly, the Tasuki plushie began to squeak.

"Squeeeak! Squeaaak! Squeak!" it said.

K-chan stopped arguing with Omi to look at Amiboshi. She ran right up to him, and started to glomp him. "Amiboshi!" she exclaimed.

"Nani?" Amiboshi asked.

K-chan apparently didn't hear this, as she grabbed Amiboshi and started to do a bandit dance. 

Amiboshi tried to keep his head from falling off as K-chan jerked him around, bandit dancing. "Suboshi…" he muttered before passing out.

To be continued…. 


	10. Tasuki's funeral and secret powers revea...

Chichiri, Emperor of Konan, no da!

by

Suzaku no Miko Copy cabbit…err I mean Rikku oh Ki

and 

random authors, but not for this chapter

Notes from the cabbit: Konyanananichiwa! Copy cabbit here! My penname may be Rikku oh Ki, but I'll always be Copy cabbit! Nobody's reviewin' anymore? Where did you all go? *searches* Hm…anywho…some answers:

**shadow priestess: I know, the Nyan Nyan didn't need any weaponry, but I had to put them in somewhere…oh, and you'll appear in this chapter…K-chan's powers will be shown, too.**

Chapter 9: Tasuki's funeral and secret powers revealed, no da!

"Tasuki…*sniff*…why did you have to get in the way!?" both K-chan and Omi exclaimed. Neither of the girls were speaking to each other, which was not surprising, considering how just a day ago, they were plotting the other's death. Everyone was gathered in some random cathedral or church or whatever they had back then. Tasuki, who was dead, of course, much to the dislike of all the loyal Tasuki fans who love how he's one of the only remaining seishi at the end of the series (but then again, I'm going against what Watase-sama had planned anyway, so why not kill off Tasuki?), was in a closed coffin, considering the amount of bullet holes in him, thanks to the Nyan Nyan…. K-chan was latched onto her new husband, Amiboshi, who unwillingly married the insane fangirl, and Omi was standing off to one corner, giving K-chan a very hateful look. She would have gone ahead and killed K-chan, mind you, but thanks to Chiri-chan, she was blocked by a magical force field. 

*flashback*

*A few hours earlier, Chichiri is watching the two fangirls duke it out. Suddenly, Quatra from Gundam Wing shows up…*

Quatra: Fighting is wrong!

K-chan: Who cares? *casts Ultima on Quatra*

Quatra: WAAAHHHHHH! I want my mommy! *runs off*

K-chan: Wimp…

Chichiri: ^.^; Da…I guess I should do something, no da…

*End Flashback*

"Heh…just you wait, Ki-chan…" Omi said, "I'll get my revenge. Nobody takes my Gen-chan away from me and lives to tell the tale…"

Meanwhile, Nuriko, Chiriko, and Mitsukake were hiding out in Washuu's laboratory. How they got there is anyone's guess.

"So, um…Washuu-sama-" Nuriko started

"-Washuu-chan," the mad scientist corrected. 

Nuriko sweatdropped. "Er…Washuu-chan…"

"Much better…" Washuu said.

"Anou…how much longer do you think we have to hide?" Nuriko asked.

Washuu shrugged. " Well…taking into consideration the axis of the earth, not to mention how many hours are in a day, and also taking into consideration how many fangirls are out

there…"

"Well?" Chiriko asked.

"I have no idea!" Washuu stated. The three seishi promptly facefaulted. Two Chibi Washuus appeared on her shoulders.

"You can do it, Washuu!"

Chibi A cheered.

"Show them what you've got, Washuu!"

Chibi B chimed in. 

Washuu laughed, in her own freaky

way. "I am the most powerful scientific genius in the galaxy, after

all!" she said.

Back in Konan, in the palace

gardens, Hime-chan was with Hotohori, who was still pleading to well…you know what

I mean.

"Please?" Hotohori

pleaded.

"Not on yer life,"

Hime-chan said.

"Life's too short. Let's just do it now. Tama-chan and Tamahome are doing it quite well," Hotohori said, pointing over to where Tama-chan was raping Tamahome.

"Help!!" Tamahome yelled.

Hime-chan sweatdropped, then regained her composure. "Well, that's them, this is us, and I say iie," she said.

Unknown to the two, Houka was making her way through the gardens to where Hotohori and Hime-chan were. "Just you wait, Hime-chan," she said, "I know so much about

you, Hotohori is going to come running to me, just begging for me to be his wife…" Unfortunately for Houka, Taiitsukun was nearby. 

"And just what the hell do you think you're doing!?" Taiitsukun exclaimed.

"Trying to make life the way Watase-sama intended," Houka replied. 

"You're a bit too late for that," Taiitsukun said. 

"Says who, old hag!?" Houka challenged 

"That's it! You're the second person to call me an old hag since this fic began!" Taiitsukun exclaimed. She thought for a second, and then snapped her fingers. "Chichiri, come forward now!" she said.

A few seconds later, Chichiri appeared, Suzuran in tow.

"Ahem…Chichiri?" Taiitsukun started.

"Hai, no da?" the now timid monk asked.

"Why do you have a rabid fangirl attached to you?"

"I have no clue, no da…"

Suzuran unattached herself from the silver-haired monk and glared at Taiitsukun. "Who're you callin' rabid, old hag!?" she asked.

Chichiri started to get nervous. "Anou…it's not good to get Taiitsukun mad, no da…" he said.

"She called me rabid!" Suzuran exclaimed. 

"Datte…"

"Datte nothin'! She's gonna pay!" Suzuran said, and turned into her demon form. Chichiri ran

for the cover of some nearby bushes, ready to teleport away should the fight get out of hand. Houka, bored by all of this, walked right past the three and proceeded onto the gardens, ready to reveal Hime-chan's identity. 

When she got there, Hime-chan was still refusing to do…anou…whatever ye wanna call it…with Hotohori, depsite the fact that he was now giving her puppy-dog eyes. 

"Onegai?" 

"Iie! Stop that!"

"Onegai?" 

"Hoto-chan, I swear, if ye don't shut yer mouth-"

"You'll do what?" Houka asked. Hime-chan stopped, and glared at Houka. 

"Shouldn't you be in some kind of endless void somewhere?"  Hime-chan asked. 

"Shouldn't you be off with the Radical Dreamers somewhere?"  Houka replied.

"Nani? The Radical Dreamers?" Hotohori asked, confused. Houka simply smirked. 

Haven't you heard? Hime-chan

is actually Ki-chan from the Radical Dreamers," she said. 

"That's Princess Hoseki Ryu Morino to ye," Hime...err, Ki-chan said. 

Hotohori looked first at Ki-chan, then at Houka, very confused. "I don't get it," he said," What's going on?" 

Ki-chan shrugged, and pointed at Houka. "Why don't you ask Miss High and Mighty over there?" she suggested.

Oh, I think we all know very well what's going on," Houka said. You're a fraud, and I'm here to prove it. Watase-sama had always intended for me to marry Hotohori, and I'm not going to let you mess up her plans any further. 

"Go right ahead and try," Ki-chan said, getting out her hammer. One wrong step, and I'm gonna perform me ultimate attack, Eternal Nightmare," she said. 

Houka laughed. "Oh, I'm so scared. What are you going to do? Hit me with that poor excuse for a hammer?" she asked. 

Ki-chan grinned "Well, now that ya mentioned it, maybe I just will," she said. She raised her

hammer, and charged towards Houka. Cat's Cradle!" she shouted, performing one of her grandmother's original Additions (What were all of Meru's Additions? I can't access my LoD files….T_T) 

Anou…meanwhile, in Washuu's lab… 

As the remaining unmarried seishi hid out in Washuu's lab, Nuriko suddenly remembered something. 

"Hey! I just remembered something!" he started. He turned to his friends. We still haven't

gotten revenge on Chichiri!" 

"Why do we need to get revenge on Chichiri?" Chiriko asked.

Nuriko facefaulted. "Anou…have you been living under a rock!? It's his fault this whole mess

started!" he exclaimed.

"Oh yeah…" Chiriko said. He picked up a porno magazine. "This is a very interesting book," he said. 

Everyone sweatdropped. 

Back in the random church or cathedral, Chichiri's force-field had worn off, giving Omi the perfect chance to get revenge on K-chan. "Hehe…it's showtime…" she said. She started to charge at K-chan, but was stopped when she was hit with a pretty charged up Ultima spell. "What the f***!" she exclaimed.

"Did you really think I was so stupid, I wouldn't notice that the force field had vanished?" K-chan asked. She shook her head. "No, I'm way smarter than that…" She held out one hand, and a black mage's staff appeared in it. "But…if it's a fight you want, it's a fight you get," she said. 

Omi grinned. "Then bring it on," she said. 

K-chan returned the grin. "My pleasure." 

Once again, the two fangirls started to duke it out, K-chan casting Holy and Omi casting Demi. This went on for quite awhile, considering that none of the passer-by wanted to be caught in the middle. Amiboshi himself was hiding behind Tasuki's coffin, hoping that the Nyan Nyan that killed Tasuki would come and stop the fight. After 3 hours, he realized nobody would come.

"Unless…" Amiboshi said, and got out a pen, writing on his arm. 

'Help, Suboshi!' the message said.

"He'd better come soon," Amiboshi said to himself, "I don't want to end up like Tasuki!"

Meanwhile, in Kutaou or Kutou or wherever the hell the Seiryuu seishi live, Suboshi got the message. 

"Aniki needs my help!" Suboshi said, and got up and ran out the palace doors, only to be met with a runaway cart, thanks to a Random Act of Cabbit. 

"Ouch…" he moaned.

Back to Suzuran and Taiitsukun…

Suzuran and Taiitsukun had ended up in a glaring contest, and had been at it for three hours when Suzuran realized K-chan was fighting Omi.

"I gotta go and help fight! No way am I letting K-chan take all the glory!" Suzuran said. She grabbed the helpless monk. "Chiri-chan, teleport us to the church or cathedral or whatever it is NOW!" she yelled.

"H-hai, no da," Chichiri said, and using his kesa, transported the both of them to the random church/cathedral/whatever it is. Suzuran instantly ran forwards, casting Silence on Omi, then Death.

"That'll teach ya," Suzuran said as Omi turned into a bunch of pyreflies. She then turned to Chichiri, who was still shaking. "Oh Chiri-chan?" she asked sweetly.

"What now, no da?" Chichiri asked.

"Please perform a Sending. Wouldn't want her to become an Unsent and annoy us even more," Suzuran said.

"Nani!? What do I look like, a summoner! I can't!" Chichiri exclaimed.

Fortunately for him, he didn't have to, as thanks to a well-placed warp hole, not to mention the fact that fangirls never die, Omi got right back up, and jumped through the warp hole, never to be seen again, or at least for the rest of this chapter. 

"Catch ya later!" Omi said, and disappeared.

"Shimatta!" Suzuran and K-chan exclaimed at the same time.

Back to the gardens…

Houka easily blocked the Cat's Cradle Addition, and was about to counterattack, when Taiitsukun showed back up.

"There you are!" Taiitsukun exclaimed. She glared at Houka. "Since you seem to have no respect for your elders, I shall teach you a lesson!" She then opened up the plothole in which Houka had come in. "Now go back to where you belong!"

And with that, Houka disappeared. (What's with all these people disappearing? Maybe Mulder and Scully should investigate this ^.^)

Taiitsukun turned back to Hotohori and Ki-chan. "Let that be a warning to anyone who even thinks of insulting me," she said, and then left.

To Be Continued…


	11. MeloKitty marries Suboshi, no da!

Chichiri, Emperor of Konan, no da!

by

Rikku oh Ki

and 

MeloKitty

 and by

Viewers Like You

Notes from the cabbit: Konyanananichiwa! Copy cabbit here! Okies… I've finally got someone else who wants to marry a seishi…this chapter's for MeloKitty, who wants to marry Suboshi. Oh, and some more review responses…

**shadow priestess: Houki? I thought her name was Houka…at least the site I found her profile on said it was Houka…**

Chapter 10: MeloKitty marries Suboshi, no da!

"Aniki…" Suboshi muttered from under the cart. The driver, which happened to be MeloKitty, jumped down to look at who she hit.

"Suboshi-chan!" she exclaimed, pulling the battered Seiryuu seishi out from under the cart. "I was just looking for you!"

Suboshi tried to break free from the psychotic fangirl's grasp, but MeloKitty wouldn't let go. "Nani? Just who the hell are you?" he asked.

"Why, I'm MeloKitty," MeloKitty said in a very cheerful voice. She hugged Suboshi even tighter. "I'm just as psychotic as you are!"

"Joy…" Suboshi muttered to himself. (Another fangirl? I sure hope Aniki hasn't run into one…) he thought to himself.

Unfortunately for Amiboshi, he too had a fangirl clinging onto him, one that went by the name of K-chan, or Kasumi as she demanded everyone else to call her. At the moment, K-chan felt the need to comfort Amiboshi. Which is why at this very moment she was chasing Amiboshi. 

"AHHHHH! Stay away from me!!!" Amiboshi yelled.

"But Amiboshi-chan! You need therapy!" K-chan exclaimed.

"And just what kind of therapy!?" Amiboshi yelled.

K-chan thought for a minute, and shrugged. "Dunno, but you do need therapy," she said.

Amiboshi shook his head. "No way!" he yelled back, and continued running-right into Suzuran.

"Ohayo, Amiboshi," Suzuran said, latched onto a very frightened SD Chichiri. "So nice to see you!"

Amiboshi looked first at K-chan, then Suzuran, and promptly fainted.

"I don't think he likes being around you two, no da," Chichiri said.

Back in the palace gardens, Hoseki, I mean, Ki-chan, had left Hotohori alone for awhile while she went out to search for Nuriko and the other unmarried seishi, giving Hotohori the perfect chance to run to freedom. Well, sort of.

"Must get away from Ki-chan…Must get away from Ki-chan…" Hotohori said to himself. Unknown to him, Ki-chan had hired some Nyan Nyan (this will never grow old) to spy on his every move. Dressed in spy gear, the Nyan Nyan carefully darted between trees and bushes, reporting back to Ki-chan on Hoto-chan's whereabouts.

"He's running," one said.

"Yeah, but where!?" Ki-chan demanded. 

"Anou…we don't know," another Nyan Nyan said.

"Well find out soon, or I'll kick yer arses so hard, they'll kiss the moons!" Ki-chan said.

"Isn't that Kid's saying?" a Nyan Nyan asked curiously.

"So?" Ki-chan asked.

"I was just wondering. I-it's not like I'm accusing you of stealing her saying or nothing," the Nyan Nyan replied nervously.

"Well then, get back to work! Hotohori must not be allowed to leave Konan," Ki-chan said.

"H-hai!" the Nyan Nyan said in unison, and got out some Nyan Nyan-sized binoculars. "Anou…Now where is he?" They finally spotted him hiding behind a display of jewelry. "There he is!" they said, and moved in closer, blending in with the scenery.

Hotohori, aware that he was being stalked, started to panic. Noticing a flower girl nearby (not Aeirth), he crawled over to her. "Excuse me, miss, demo, do you know of any good hiding spots?" he asked.

The girl looked at Hotohori oddly.  "Nani? Hiding spots? What are ya, a murderer?" she asked.

"Erm…well…you see…I'm the emperor of Konan-"

"-And I'm the Queen of Sheba," the flower girl interrupted.

"-and I'm being pursued by a rabid fangirl and her army of Nyan Nyan," Hotohori finished.

"Would this fangirl happen to be Ki-chan of the Radical Dreamers?" she asked.

"Yes, why?" Hotohori asked.

"Because she just stopped by," the flower girl said. "In fact, she's at that restaurant right over there," she added, pointing over to a nearby café where sure enough, Ki-chan was sitting there, walkie-talkie in hand, yelling at the Nyan Nyan.

"NANI!?" Ki-chan practically screeched. A few patrons turned to stare at her, not only because she just destroyed their sense of hearing, but also for the fact that she wasn't wearing Konan-ish clothes.

"Who is she?"

"Why is she here?"

"Think she's a Kutou spy?" 

"Look at those clothes! She's a thief from the Radical Dreamers!"  

at this comment, all the people in the restaurant turned to stare at Ki-chan, who stared right back.

"What? Can't a girl get a bite to eat without being profiled on 'Konan's Most Wanted?'" Ki-chan asked.

At that, the patrons turned back to their meals. 

Ki-chan frowned. "Jeez, it's not like I'm here to steal anything…" she trailed off as she remembered some paintings she saw in the palace. "Then again, if this marriage thing doesn't work out, I could always leave with some souvenirs…" she shook her head to clear this daydream and got back on the walkie-talkie.  "Whaddya mean, ya lost him!? I told you to keep a close eye on him!" she yelled.

The Nyan Nyan hiding behind the bushes held the walkie-talkie out at arm's  length to avoid blasting their eardrums from the loud cursing coming from it.

"Tysh ed! Can't you do anything right!?" Ki-chan demanded.

The Nyan Nyan looked at each other, and turned back on the walkie-talkie. "We heal!" they replied gleefully. 

The following reply was so loud, the Nyan Nyan threw the walkie-talkie quite a distance and ran off, scared at what Ki-chan was going to do.

Meanwhile, MeloKitty, who had every intention of marrying Suboshi that day, was dragging him around Konan.

"…And we're going to have sooo much fun today!" MeloKitty said. She continued to drag the injured Suboshi around until they finally reached the palace. "Ah, here we are!" she said.

Suboshi started to freak out. "Nani!? That deathtrap!? No way I'm going in there!" he said.

"Gomen nasai, demo, you don't have much of a choice," MeloKitty said.

Suboshi started to squirm. "My friends know where I am! They'll come and get revenge on you should anything happen to me!" he said.

"Well, that's just too bad, isn't it?" MeloKitty said, slightly letting go of Suboshi. "And I know where your Aniki is, too…" she sighed. "Oh well, I guess I'll just have to let you go…"

Suboshi's eyes widened at the mention of Amiboshi. "You know where Aniki is!? Take me to him!" he said.

"Sure thing," MeloKitty said, and dragged him into the palace.

As soon as they reached the palace courtyard, where Tama-chan had let Tamahome wander around while she got some 'props', Tamahome just happened to turn around and notice the now very timid Seiryuu seishi. "You!" he exclaimed.

"Anou…ohayo?" Suboshi replied weakly. "Long time no see, Tamahome."

Tamahome's symbol started to glow. "You killed my family!" he yelled, and started to charge towards Suboshi. "You killed my siblings! Especially Yuiren! What did she ever do to you!?" he exclaimed.

"Well…she was related to you, and at the time, I was under the impression that the Suzaku seishi had killed Aniki, so…" Suboshi trailed off, noticing the rage in the charging Tamahome's eyes. "Anou…not a very good answer, neh?"

"Omae wo koruso!" Tamahome yelled, and would have gotten away with it, if MeloKitty hadn't stopped him. Taking out a rather large hammer, from where it came from nobody knows, she smacked Tamahome, and sent him flying. 

"Home Run!" she cheered.

Suboshi looked at the psychotic fangirl, and then at the now airborne Tamahome, and started to whimper.

Back to Amiboshi, he had just woken up to find himself in some unknown room, with K-chan and Suzuran painting his nails. "Nani!? What the hell are you doing!?" he exclaimed.

The two fangirls looked at each other and shrugged. "We dunno. We thought that this might help you calm down a bit," Suzuran said.

"No to mention that the smell of nail polish was guaranteed to wake you up," K-chan said, applying more nail polish to Amiboshi's left hand. 

Amiboshi looked at his now hand, more specifically, his now painted nails. "Why pink?" he asked.

"Dunno," Suzuran said. "It was the only color we could find."

Amiboshi, forgetting for the moment he was in the custody of two insane fangirls, looked at Suzuran and K-chan, curious. "Matte…if this isn't yours, then where did you get it?" he asked.

"Simple. Nuriko's room," K-chan said.

"Nani!?" Amiboshi exclaimed.

Meanwhile, MeloKitty had managed to drag Suboshi into the palace, and had found Chichiri, cowering in a corner. "Ah, just the person I was lookin' for!" she said.

"N-nani, no da?" Chichiri said.

MeloKitty grinned. "I heard you've been performing marriage ceremonies," she said. 

Chichiri quickly stood up. "Iie, no da! For the last time, I'm a monk, not a priest, no da!" he said.

MeloKitty shrugged. "Whatever. Just perform the ceremony, and perhaps I'll hide you from Suzuran," she said.

Chichiri sighed, and nodded. "H-hai, no da," he said, and began. "MeloKitty-" 

"I do!" MeloKitty interrupted.

"Suboshi?"

"I don…I mean, I do!" Suboshi said. (It's for aniki,) he told himself.

"Then you're now husband and wife, no da, so leave me alone, no da," Chichiri said. 

"Hai!" MeloKitty said, and ran off, Suboshi in tow.

Chichiri plopped back down onto the ground, and blinked, just remembering that MeloKitty had offered to hide him. "Shimatta, no da…I just missed my chance at freedom, no da…" he said.

To Be Continued…


	12. MeloKitty tortures Suboshi, the plot to ...

Chichiri, Emperor of Konan, no da!

Brought to you by

Rikku oh Ki

and

Random Authors

and by

The letter "C", for Chichiri

Notes from the Cabbit: Konyanananchiwa! Copy cabbit here! Well, while I wait for more people to review and request to marry a seishi, I'm doing this chapter. BTW, should I bring back Tasuki, or should he be like Aeris and never come back until I do another insane FY ficcy? Also, should I keep making fun of the Nyan Nyan, or is that what is keeping you from reviewing? 

Chapter 11: MeloKitty tortures Suboshi, the plot to kill Chichiri,  and Hotohori's grand escape, no da!

It was a lovely spring morning…no, make that a horrible spring morning, as MeloKitty dragged Suboshi around the palace in Konan. 

"Isn't this so wonderful, Suboshi-chan? We're married, so that means we get to spend the rest of our lives with each other!" MeloKitty said. Suboshi, on the other hand, did not share MeloKitty's joy at being married. 

(Where's aniki!? I gotta find aniki!) Suboshi thought. Unfortunately for him, MeloKitty could read his thoughts.

"Why do you keep worrying about aniki?" she asked. "He's fine. I'll help you look for him after I'm through with you."

Suboshi gulped. This was not how he had planned on spending the rest of his life. "Onegai…let me go, MeloKitty," he said.

MeloKitty shook her head. "Nope. We've still got a honeymoon to plan," she said.

Suboshi started to squirm. While MeloKitty wasn't looking, he managed to get out a pen and write on his arm. 'HELP, ANIKI!!!!!' the message said.

While Suboshi was desperately trying to get away, Hotohori had his own escape to worry about. Being the emperor of Konan, he couldn't just walk over to Kutou and stay with the Seiryuu seishi. No, they'd tear him to bits, or at least Ashitare would. He had to leave Konan, and find somewhere else to hide. 

"Must get away from Ki-chan…must get away from Ki-chan…" he repeated over and over again to himself. He had just reached the gates of Konan, when…

"Saihite! What are you doing here!?" a guard shouted, noticing Hotohori. Hotohori instantly stopped in his tracks.

(Maybe if I ignore him, he'll go away…) Hotohori thought to himself. Unfortunately for him, the guard kept coming, so Hotohori had no choice but to run past him. "Must get away from Ki-chan...must get away from Ki-chan..." he repeated again. He managed to get through the gates, but now he had a tough decision: Where to go? Taiitsukun was a last resort, he couldn't go to Kutou, and he had no idea how to get anywhere else! 

Suddenly, an idea hit him. 

"I know!" Hotohori suddenly exclaimed, "I can go to Miaka's world!" He then stopped short as he realized something. How in the name of Suzaku was he going to get to Miaka's world? Well, thankfully for him, he didn't have to think long, as Taiitsukun appeared.

"So...you want to go to Miaka's world, neh?" Taiitsukun asked.

Hotohori, realizing he needed to flatter Taiitsukun if he wanted to get anywhere, dropped to his knees and bowed, something he normally would never do, even if Ashitare was ripping off his skin. "Oh honorable Taiitsukun," he started, "I humbly beseech you, and desire nothing more than to escape from the fangirl known as Ki-chan." He ended this with a kiss to Taiitsukun's feet, trying not to gag as he made a mental note to thoroughly rinse out his mouth afterwards.

Taiitsukun glared at Hotohori. She knew he was kissing up to him, and she didn't like it. However, since she had created the world, she was under no obligation to return any bishonen to any stupid fangirl, especially those who intruded into the book. She sighed. She may have created this world, but Watase-sama created her. And if she got Watase-sama mad...

"Fine then. I'll take you to Miaka's world," Taiitsukun said.

Hotohori was so overjoyed, he forgot that he was supposed to be kissing up to Taiitsukun. "Yatta! Wai! Sugoi! Arigatou!" he said, leaping up and down. He promptly received a smack upside the head by Taiitsukun.

"I never said there wasn't a catch!" Taiitsukun said.

"Nani?" Hotohori asked.

Two Nyan Nyan appeared, dressed in kawaii preschool uniforms.

"You'll be taking these two with you, so I can keep an eye on you," Taiitsukun said. The Nyan Nyan started dancing around in circles.

"Fix fix fix....heal heal heal...." the two Nyan Nyan sang. They stopped, and faced Taiitsukun. "Taiitsukun, let us fix your face!" they said in unison.

SMACK! The two Nyan Nyan were sent flying, but not to the moon, but right into Hotohori. A large portal opened up behind them, and the three ended up in Miaka's world.

Meanwhile, Amiboshi had just gotten Suboshi's message, but could do nothing, as K-chan was snuggling up right next to him. "Lemme go! Suboshi needs help!" he said.

"No way! You're too cute and cuddly to let go!" K-chan said. Her new Amiboshi plushie, along with her Tasuki plushie, agreed.

"SQUEEEEAK!" they both said.

K-chan held both up to her ear. "What's that, Amiboshi plushie? You say that it's all a trap?"

"SQUEAK! SQUEAK!" the Tasuki plushie said.

"And that there's another Amiboshi fangirl who's secretly seducing him!?" K-chan said.

"SQUEAK! SQUEAK! SQUEEEEAK!" the plushies said. K-chan frowned. 

"Well, no fangirl's gonna take MY Amiboshi away!" she said. She pulled the Seiryuu seishi closer. "I'm gonna love him and hug him and squeeze him forever and ever and ever!" she said.

Amiboshi sighed, then started gasping for air as K-chan tightened her grip on him.

Now as for his twin, Suboshi had just started panicking when he realized that he was getting no reply from Amiboshi. (Aniki, where are you!?) he thought. He saw that MeloKitty had noticed the writing on his arm. (Why can't I have stayed with Yui-sama!?) 

"Suboshi..." MeloKitty started.

"It wasn't me!" Suboshi instantly said.

MeloKitty examined the writing closer. "Yes it was," she said. Her eyes glowed a very evil red color. "I told you that Amiboshi was alright!" Her grip on Suboshi's arm tightened, and for a second, Suboshi was convinced that he was going to die, but just as quickly as it started, it ended. MeloKitty's eyes returned back to their normal color, and she grinned. "Oh well!" she said. "I just thought of the perfect place to spend our honeymoon!" she exclaimed.

"And that would be...?" Suboshi asked nervously.

"Taiitsukun's palace!" MeloKitty exclaimed happily. "Everyone else got married there, plus I hear that they have a great hot springs place there! Oh Suboshi, you're gonna love it there!" she said.

Suboshi eyes widened as he heard the mention of Taiitsukun. (This is it! Seiryuu is punishing me for apologizing to Tamahome! Now I'm really gonna die!) he thought.

MeloKitty heard this, but decided not to say anything. If the boy thought he was gonna die, then so be it. All the more fun for her. Getting out a rope, she tied up Suboshi, packed her bags, and quickly left Konan, heading for Taiitsukun's palace.

Back in Miaka's world, Hotohori and the two preschooler Nyan Nyan had just arrived, and while the two Nyan Nyan fit in quite well, people couldn't help but stop and stare at Hotohori, who was dressed in his Konan clothes. That, and he had his hair down, so people thought he must be a woman.

"Look at that woman with her kids," one passerby stated.

"What kind of mother would embarrass her children dressing like that?" Another asked.

"Those two girls are just so kawaii! I wonder if they're twins," a third person mused.

"They don't look a thing like their mother," the first passerby pointed out.

"Yeah, I wonder who the father is? He must have a better fashion sense than his wife. I mean, just look at how kawaii the twins are," the second said.

The Nyan Nyan grinned as people stopped to pat them on the head, give them candy, or just tell them how kawaii they were. Hotohori, on the other hand, was growing increasingly nervous. Taiitsukun hadn't told him what this place was, or where was supposed to go. She didn't even give him some clothes that would fit in with the natives. He then spotted a young girl that was wearing the same uniform Miaka had on when she entered the book.

"Excuse me," Hotohori said. The girl didn't respond. Instead, she got out some pepper spray and sprayed it in Hotohori's face. "Itai! The pain! It burns!" Hotohori said.

The Nyan Nyan instantly came rushing to his side. "We fix! We heal!" they said, and together, stopped the effects of the pepper spray. That was all fine and dandy, but now Hotohori had one more problem.

Thanks to the Nyan Nyan and their bizarre healing methods, he was now naked, and the entire public could see.

"EEK! That's no woman! That's one of those guys who do that child porno stuff!" the first passerby stated.

"He must be with those innocent girls in order to take dirty pictures of them!" the second said.

"We have to stop him! Quick, somebody distract him! I'll call the cops, and someone else can get those poor girls away from him!" the third exclaimed.

The Nyan Nyan, under orders from Taiitsukun and Ki-chan, started to glow as they created a protective force-field, keeping everyone away from them.

"No hurt Hoto-chan!" they said.

The Nyan Nyan's force-field grew bigger, and actually started to surround the entire city of Tokyo. Hotohori gulped. He had once watched X/1999 on Ki-chan's TV, and he knew that the force-field just might be strong enough to demolish to whole city, not to mention him. Hotohori closed his eyes, and waited to be destroyed, but nothing came. Opening his eyes, he saw that the force-field had not destroyed anything, but instead, had stopped time, something that should only be found in the Matrix. All of a sudden, time started again, and Hotohori found himself back in his clothes. And just in time, too, as the police arrived. Armed with automatic rifles, machine guns, and the like, they all crouched behind their squad cars, weapons pointed at Hotohori. Knowing he would be dead meat if he let anything happen to the Nyan Nyan, he got out his sword. 

"This is the Tokyo Police! Drop the sword and out your hands up! I repeat, drop the sword and out your hands up! If you do not, we will be forced to open fire!" one officer said.

"Never!" Hotohori said, and raised his sword. The police started moving, and in another Matrix-like move, time slowed down as Hotohori twisted and turned to dodge the bullets. Then Neo from the Matrix came and shot all of the officers, and them promptly disappeared.

The Nyan Nyan smiled, and clapped their hands, excited. Hey, they were over thousands of years old, so they were used to killing and that sort of stuff.

Hotohori, on the other hand, stood there, his mouth agape.

All at the same time, in Konan, Nuriko, Chiriko, and Mitsukake, all armed and dangerous, carefully made their way around the palace, searching for Chichiri. Tama-neko lead the way.

"We all know the plan, right?" Nuriko whispered.

Chiriko nodded. "Yeah! The plan! What plan?" he asked.

Nuriko was about to kill Chiriko, but he noticed that the boy's symbol had disappeared. "Anou...we're to quietly sneak up on Chichiri. Tama-neko leads. Once we locate the target, Chiriko is going to create a distraction to get Chichiri away from Suzuran. Then, Mitsukake, you seal off all exits, and make sure there are no guards around. Finally, I will walk up to Chichiri, calmly carry on a conversation, and then BAM! All of us will unload our ammo on him. Afterwards, we dispose of the body, clean up the place, and destroy the evidence," he said.

Mitsukake and Chiriko stared at Nuriko, surprised.

To Be Continued... 


	13. The failed attempt to kill Chichiri, the...

Chichiri, Emperor of Konan, no da!

Brought to you by

  
Rikku oh Ki

and by

the

  
WHEEL!

OF!

MIS-FOR-TUNE!!!!!

Notes from the Cabbit: Konyananichiwa! Copy cabbit here! *evil grin* Bwuahahah...I have not died! This story hasn't either! Just for you is this special chappy! We get a bunch of surprises, and there are two more weddings! Joining me this chappy are Saito, who is marrying- *won't tell*, Deity, who shall also be marrying the unnamed one, Kat, who shall marry Nuriko, and Honoo Moeru's character, Kurayami, who will marry Nakago. Well, I'm sure you all wanted to know what happened to poor Chiri-chan, so here you go! 

Chapter 12: The failed attempt to kill Chichiri, the return of a pyro senshi, and two more seishi get married!

"So...it's time for Chichiri to die..." Nuriko announced to the little group. Chiriko raised his hand once again, prompting Nuriko to facefault, as he had a vague idea as to what the question would be.

"Hai, Chiriko-chan?" Nuriko asked.

Chiriko put his hand down as he looked at the ground for a moment, moving his foot back and forth. "Anou…what was the plan again?" he asked.

Nuriko facefaulted again, and this time, he decided not to get back up, lest he wanted another concussion from numerous face-faults, as had happened in the past. He merely sat up, and stared at the youngest seishi. "Just follow us and you'll be fine, alright?" he asked.

Chiriko nodded. "Hai," he said.

Unknown to this little group of would-be-murderers, a new batch of fangirls had arrived, and they had other plans in mind.

The fangirl called Kat stood behind a pillar as she watched Nuriko give orders. Her eyes had a dreamy look to them as she thought of being with Nuriko. After all, she had read the story, and she knew that Nuriko hadn't been taken yet.

"Just you wait, Nuri-chan," Kat said. "I'll be your blushing bride in no time!"

In some other random part of China, over in Kutou, the leader of the Seiryuu seishi was trying to deal with a fangirl problem. Or rather, a fan created female character problem. For the first time in, well, forever, it wasn't the author who was doing the bishie chasing, but rather, it was the author's character. And, for all those inquiring minds out there, that author was Honoo Moeru, and the character was Kurayami. 

"What did I do to deserve this!????" Nakago yelled aloud as Kurayami chased him. The girl seemed to be getting closer with each passing step, and Nakago didn't like it one bit.

"Naka-chan!!!" the girl yelled. "Come back here so I can spend the rest of my life with you!!!"

"Lady, I've got my own personal agenda to fulfill, and you aren't on it!!" Nakago yelled back. He turned his attention away from the character, and over to the gate looming just a few feet away. Now, if he could only reach the gate, possible alert the guards, he would be home free.

No luck today for Naka-chan, as Kurayami managed to gain momentum and finally tackle/glomp the Seiryuu seishi's leader. Nakago closed his eyes as he hit the ground, making it his priority to play dead, in the hopes that the girl would go away.

Once again, no luck at all, as Kurayami simply picked up Nakago and started to carry/drag him to Konan, which was starting to become a roach motel of sorts for the Seiryuu seishi.

Back in the palace in Konan, Chichiri was finally free of Suzuran, if just for a few hours. Suzuran, having already have read the previous chapter and knowing what foul plot was afoot, had devised her own counter-plan to fail Nuriko's plan. You see, as it turns out, Suzuran had managed to contact the holiest one of all, Yuu Watase, and had convinced Watase-sama to bring in some more fangirls. Watase-sama agreed, reluctantly, since she had wanted to be with Nakago, and three more fangirls were brought in.

Those fangirls, two of whom shall not be mentioned, were scattered about to the various corners of the book, with the promise that they soon would be united with their bishie of choice. 

And one of them just happened to be spying on Nuriko's every move.

Kat, whom we saw earlier, watched as Nuriko once again explained the mission to Chiriko, who seemed to be going through some sort of memory loss. Her eyes lit up when she watched the group split, leaving Nuriko by himself. That, Kat decided, was her big chance.

Not caring a thing for drawing attention to herself, Kat just ran forward and glomped Nuriko.

"Nuri-chan!!!" she said, tightening her grip on the purple haired seishi.

Nuriko's eyes widened as he realized that he too now had a fangirl that probably had evil thoughts running through his head. Silently, he wished it was he who had been run over by that cart all those years ago instead of his sister. Of course, Nruiko surmised, if he had died instead of her, she would be in this fic, and therefore be subjected to fanboys.

"Suzaku…why?" Nuriko asked silently. He didn't wait to see if he got a reply, however, as he got out a crowbar as he attempted to pry Kat off of him.

Kat, who seemed to be enjoying all of this, simply tightened her grip around Nuriko even more, causing him to drop the crowbar and start trying to pry her hands off of his neck. 

"Air…need…oxygen…" Nuriko managed to gasp out.

Kat realized her mistake, and quickly loosened her grip, causing Nuriko to crash to the ground. 

"Gomen nasai, Nuri-chan!!!" Kat exclaimed. She knelt down beside Nuriko. "I didn't mean to do that! If there's anything you need, please ask me!" she said.

"Go…away…" Nuriko said, and then blacked out.

Now, getting back to the original reason you tuned in to this fic in the first place, Chichiri had been cornered by Chiriko, who had somehow managed to get yet another porno magazine, not from Tama-chan, though, as she had been forced to cancel his subscription after he tried to mimic what the people were doing *Chii!*. ("I still don't see why I have to cancel his subscription. He was enjoying it, and he was learning more!" Tama-chan had protested between chapters.) 

"Anou…could you demonstrate what they're doing in this picture?" Chiriko asked. Chichiri felt his face turn ten various shades of red, if there even were ten different shades to begin with, as he snatched the magazine from the young seishi's hands.

"Chiriko, where did you get this, no da?" the masked monk asked.

"From some very nice men living in the alleys," Chiriko responded.

A huge sweatdrop formed on the back of Chichiri's head. "Da…and what exactly were you doing there, na no da?" he asked.

"Buying books," came the simple reply.

The sweatdrop seemed to be getting bigger by the minute as Chichiri realized that his worst fear had been realized: Chiriko had been corrupted by Tama-chan.

Just then, out of the corner of his eye, Chichiri saw the flash of the muzzle of a gun. He ducked just in time to avoid the bullets shot in his general direction. He looked up, and saw that Chiriko was gone. 

Of course, as soon as he realized that, he also heard a very familiar phrase.

"Lekka Shien!" 

At this point, the entire cast of this fic, not including the honeymooning couples and such, wandered in, to find…

"Tasuki?!?" Ki-chan, or Rikku as she now wanted to be called, asked.

"What the f*** is going on!?" Tasuki demanded.

Several Nyan Nyan looked at each other. Finally, the 'leader' spoke up.

"Anou…Watase-sama brought you back to life."

"Nani!?" Tasuki practically screamed. The Nyan Nyan gathered close together in fear.

"Creator magic works its wonders…" Rikku muttered.

All of a sudden, two fangirls, not K-chan and Omi, rushed forward and proceeded to glomp the newly revived seishi.

"Gen-chan!!!" Saito and Deity exclaimed. Tasuki started to flail his arms as both girls wrapped their arms around him, pulling him down.

It was at this point that Rikku started to scratch her head, confused. "Is it just me, or are any of you getting a feeling of déjà vu?" she asked.

The others that had been around when Tasuki died started to scratch their heads as well.

"Yeah…" they said, but could not say any more, as the girls rushed off to the nearest instant wedding places, dragging Tasuki with them.

"I wonder if we're going to see more violence?" Suzuran wondered aloud, clinging to a veeerry traumatized Chichiri.

Kat watched all of this, confused, and then realized that Nuriko was still nearby. Looking down, she saw Nuriko as he came to…

…to find a rabid fangirl clinging to him.

"G-get…off…of…me!!!" Nuriko yelled.

"Tehehe…you say the funniest things, Nuri-chan," Kat said. She looked at Chichiri. "You!"

"H-hai, na no da?"

"You're the one performing the wedding ceremonies, aren't you?" Kat demanded.

"Da!!! Why does everyone think I'm a minister or something!!!?" Chichiri exclaimed.

"Just get on with it!" Kat yelled.

Chichiri sighed.

"Do you-"

"Yes!" Kat said. She moved Nuriko's head to make it nod. "Nuri-chan says yes, to, so we're now officially wife and husband!" she exclaimed. She pulled Nuriko tighter. "Oh, Nuri-chan, it's just what I've always dreamed of!" she said, grinning.

Rikku grinned, and handed Kat a travel brochure.

"What's this?" Kat asked, looking at the cover. It showed Taiitsukun's palace, plus a few random Nyan Nyan, and it showed the hot springs, where numerous plots to kill Chichiri took place.

"Taiitsukun's palace is the best place to have your honeymoon!" Suzuran exclaimed.

"Really?" Kat asked. She grabbed Nuriko's hand. "Well, don't mind if I do!" she yelled, running out the door, just as Saito and Deity came in, dragging the unconscious pyro seishi with them.

"What was all that about?" Saito asked.

Rikku handed the girls two more travel brochures. "Taiitsukun's palace," she started, "The best place to have a honeymoon!"

Saito and Deity looked at each other, then at Tasuki, and started mulling over their options.

"You three were only gone for about a minute," Chiriko remarked. "How did you get married so fast?"

Saito held up her ring. "Instant wedding," she said.

"Just pay them a few million yen, and you get a marriage license and however many rings you need," Deity added.

Chiriko nodded. "I see…" he said.

Saito looked at Deity. "I'd say that we should give this palace thing a shot," she said.

"I agree," Deity said.

The others looked at the two with disbelief.

"Aren't they going to kill each other now in a tragic attempt to win the heart of Tasuki?" Chiriko whispered to Mitsukake.

"I don't trust them one bit. They're probably plotting to kill us all in our sleep," Tamahome whispered to Chiriko.

"Actually, I think they'd kill each other in their sleep before they even thought about killing us," Rikku remarked.

"I wonder what'll happen when K-chan returns, na no da," Chichiri said.

"What about Omi?" Suzuran asked, a devious plot already forming in her head.

"Hm…" Miaka was at a loss for words, until she noticed Tama-neko pointing.

"Hey! Tama-neko is trying to tell us something!" Mitsukake shouted.

Everyone looked ahead, and noticed that the two fangirls, plus the cross dressing seishi, had left.

"Wait a minute…isn't K-chan at the hot springs?"

**TO BE CONTINUED…MWUAHAHAHHAHAHAH…**


End file.
